Tuesday, May 17, 2016
Meghana's blog: Ghar ki Baat
Meghana's blog: Ghar ki Baat: !All the incidents of the post are real; I have just tried to put them together in a chronological order! It was more than two weeks when...
Normal Life?
"You never went out of my life; you never would....you were the one who made me feel I am different; I am girl/female/woman..... this is what I think when I think about him. He who tempered with my teenage emotions, my body and now I realize my soul too!!" Not a line from a romantic novel or drama or movie; this was said by a girl who was sexually harassed as a child on a TV series that highlights crimes in general. Apparently the criminal was a close family relative of the girl. Reminds me of Monsoon wedding where in the end Shefali took a step forward to reveal the sick mentality of the "uncle"; reminds me of myself; reminds me of my closest friends who have gone through the same. The blog is not about how to stop it, because; lets face the reality; such sick people are everywhere and cannot be salvaged from society. However, over the years of careful observations and the experiences shared by different people compelled me to
The blog is about what the people who get harassed went through; the mental state now and then. Now, I don't know how true is that but there comes a time point in life when you kind of go down the memory lane and try to think "what if this didn't happen?" And over a coffee and conversation, as a woman in her late thirties, a friend of mine shared a statement about how life would have been much more different if "that uncle" didn't happen; I'd have had more faith in myself; I'd have probably enjoyed the first kiss of my life than getting stressed over it; I'd have not seen all my prospective dates as jerks just wanting one thing from me (they actually didn't); I would have loved my husband more care-freely; I'd have been raising my daughter differently; Ever since that uncle happened; I couldn't even trust my own brother or father or closest cousins! When my son goes near my daughter I am little scared and stressed and I feel so guilty about this that I hate myself!
Real world problems with such situations are "The counselling doesn't help such situations; the professionals sometimes press wrong buttons to make you speak and you go into deeper mental trauma than recovering from it." as mentioned by a friend who took professional help in order to "lead a normal life"
So the question is for all the readers...can such people have a normal life after going through what all they have gone through??
The blog is about what the people who get harassed went through; the mental state now and then. Now, I don't know how true is that but there comes a time point in life when you kind of go down the memory lane and try to think "what if this didn't happen?" And over a coffee and conversation, as a woman in her late thirties, a friend of mine shared a statement about how life would have been much more different if "that uncle" didn't happen; I'd have had more faith in myself; I'd have probably enjoyed the first kiss of my life than getting stressed over it; I'd have not seen all my prospective dates as jerks just wanting one thing from me (they actually didn't); I would have loved my husband more care-freely; I'd have been raising my daughter differently; Ever since that uncle happened; I couldn't even trust my own brother or father or closest cousins! When my son goes near my daughter I am little scared and stressed and I feel so guilty about this that I hate myself!
Real world problems with such situations are "The counselling doesn't help such situations; the professionals sometimes press wrong buttons to make you speak and you go into deeper mental trauma than recovering from it." as mentioned by a friend who took professional help in order to "lead a normal life"
So the question is for all the readers...can such people have a normal life after going through what all they have gone through??
Ghar ki Baat
!All the incidents of the post are real; I have just tried to put them together in a chronological order!
It was more than two weeks when Rohit committed suicide; Rohit, a PhD student at Hyderabad University committed suicide which has a long story which has some political facets to itself and I tried to stay away from all of it. However, it was brought back to my attention by someone on a laid back Saturday afternoon when we were just getting some spill over work done "I was listening to NPR and they were telling that you guys in India still exploit and beat the untouchables; is this true?" I was certainly taken aback and it took me a minute to think who are these untouchables my friend was talking about! Social media has been disappointing lately about all such things and this was no exception; I thought but still my eyes were blank; she mentioned "a guy committed suicide because he was ill-treated in college for being untouchable" "ohh yes! I also watched something like that through FB" another colleague said. Now I had two pairs of eyes sticking on me as my expression was transitioning from blank to understand if they were talking about Rohit! I was thinking how should I explain caste system, harijans and dalits to these people now! However guess, I had a fifteen minutes session and it was over. (Needless to say how much I loathe NPR that day!)
It was more than two weeks when Rohit committed suicide; Rohit, a PhD student at Hyderabad University committed suicide which has a long story which has some political facets to itself and I tried to stay away from all of it. However, it was brought back to my attention by someone on a laid back Saturday afternoon when we were just getting some spill over work done "I was listening to NPR and they were telling that you guys in India still exploit and beat the untouchables; is this true?" I was certainly taken aback and it took me a minute to think who are these untouchables my friend was talking about! Social media has been disappointing lately about all such things and this was no exception; I thought but still my eyes were blank; she mentioned "a guy committed suicide because he was ill-treated in college for being untouchable" "ohh yes! I also watched something like that through FB" another colleague said. Now I had two pairs of eyes sticking on me as my expression was transitioning from blank to understand if they were talking about Rohit! I was thinking how should I explain caste system, harijans and dalits to these people now! However guess, I had a fifteen minutes session and it was over. (Needless to say how much I loathe NPR that day!)
The questions aren't always this serious and intimidating mostly they are query driven and hilarious for me and so far I have done great to manage such situations without looking down! But this one was something way too different than "survival into arranged marriages", "wearing bindis/dots/forehead tattoos", "having extravagant weddings" "cows on roads" "health insurance" and other related socioeconomical issues... So, I took a deep breath and thought for a minute, the "best way to explain caste system" I explained them the origin of caste system and mentioned that it has been vanished years ago, however the people from lower caste or the unprivileged ones still get advantage of their castes by claiming the "minority quota" I had to tell them (rough numbers) statistics of reserved quota v/s general category and I could see wide open eyes and mouth;
Now, aim of writing this blog is not as much what I had to brainstorm impromptu to save the Indian ass (I felt accomplished though); it was the after thoughts that came to my mind; WHY does Indian media is so outrageously open to spread the story of our own country around? WHY can't we keep something like that within our home (country)? And Rohit was just another thing that had occurred actually; Nirbhaya story as well had troubled NRIs; so many people asked me about the psyche of Indian men after watching that news and later the documentary! I am not pro rapists or pro caste system or anti-reservation; but it would have been good if ghar ki baat ghar me reh jaati!
Now, aim of writing this blog is not as much what I had to brainstorm impromptu to save the Indian ass (I felt accomplished though); it was the after thoughts that came to my mind; WHY does Indian media is so outrageously open to spread the story of our own country around? WHY can't we keep something like that within our home (country)? And Rohit was just another thing that had occurred actually; Nirbhaya story as well had troubled NRIs; so many people asked me about the psyche of Indian men after watching that news and later the documentary! I am not pro rapists or pro caste system or anti-reservation; but it would have been good if ghar ki baat ghar me reh jaati!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)