EX

Last Friday I saw an interesting status posted by my youngest male cousin, it said "EX means:- thanks for the EXperience….our time has EXpired…..now EXit my life" there were some 5 likes on it; to everybody's knowledge and concern he wasn't really dating anybody so no one was really bothered to ask him anything....but it really agitated my thoughts......wow!! What a thought.....partly true.....except the last part which would have been really difficult for people in love.....so this post of mine is about relationships!! Since, I have a vast circle of friends and family which is spread worldwide now, I can be little pompous to discuss their EXperiences of EXpired relationships. 
So, when and why two people become Ex for each other in a relationship could be a matter of dispute and there can be several beginnings and reasons behind it which is not focus of this blog. I would rather concentrate on  life stories of respective Exs here in terms of how they handled it and if they were over or not!! Very few cases I saw were nervous break down ones. 
I remember one of my cousin's friends, who was academically bright and  an all rounder, attempted to commit  suicide bunch of times after his break up, who had to be sent to asylum because of neuronal imbalance (huh! thats what they did in India 20 years ago at least!)   and from my high school days I knew a person in neighborhood who committed suicide because of break up and her Ex trashed her....but thats it. Other than these few those can be counted on finger tips of one hand, I have not come across break downs/deaths because of Ex's....but wait!! I have just mentioned one kind of extent yet....and this takes me to "look upto" figures who were trashed by their Ex's and are now living successful lives. We all do realize at one point of time that nobody's life doesn't stop because a person is out of our respective lives. The how does one gets so much importance in life? It comes through feelings of love, trust, affection, sex and blahblahblah.........when one or more things are missing, love vaporizes and people become Ex for each other. Many years ago, I watched a Hindi movie "Taal" which ended up with a punchline from Grand ma of main lead who said "Don't fall, rise in love" and I absolutely loved it. I have known at least fifty people in my life who had their career path well defined, with clearer goals in life after they became "Ex" for someone. Many of them were in the intense relationships, some of them had live-in relationships as well. And, they did undergo a nervous  breakdown after break ups but only to re-connect with life, they did have suicidal thoughts but they realized and learned to live with broken heart!! How they did it and became almost over-achievers in life, is unrealistic and non-important to me as a person. But, how did they lived through being Exs was pretty intriguing. "On Sundays when I have nothing to do I do think about him, how different life would have been if he was with me, and at this moment what he might be doing? His wife might be serving him lunch on Sunday afternoon since that's the only time I  had decided with him to eat lunch together" says my 27 year old friend, (an HR manager at MNC with all possible awards she could get for her work from company, definitely overachiever for her age!!) after being in a relationship for 4 and a half years with her Ex. "I do think about evening coffees with him we used to have together after coming back from work, followed by a TV show, dinner and a walk together.  Now it feels weird to sit around same coffee table and love seat sometimes, when I know he might be doing same thing with his wife, because this was the way he loved to spend evenings" says my 34 years old friend, a "to be" member of board of directors at MNC who had a live-in with her boy friend for 3 good years. The apartment belongs to her and she doesn't want to sale it. "You can think how much work it took me to reach this professional position in fraction of time", she said and smiles to the idea of getting married to someone else. "If it had to work, it would have worked then and this way, I am too busy to think about someone else now!" and here comes the problem, Ex gave EXperience, EXpired relationship and took a physical EXit as well, but didn't make an emotional EXit and left other person with sleepless nights and sobs!!!
I won't talk about rules of relationships since they make relationships mechanical, and less emotional, but there has to be some set norms to prevent EXs undergo emotional trauma at times. There are no rules in relationships, but there have to be some for break ups to have a healthy emotional EXit from both sides....
I know just like my previous other blogs, there is an open ending to this one too, and I could really not think anything else after venting my thoughts on this issue out on everyone like this. I request everybody to suggest something for EXs to get a better personal life which is equivalent to professional one in order to have a good and healthy social structure!
Amen~

Story of a marriage

My mother suggested me to watch a daily soap on one of the Indian regional channels stating "I guess you'd like it"; but as usual I ignored her, thinking she has nothing better to do...and over past four and a half years me staying away from her has taught her not to force me on anything! Anyways.....My other friend who's a research student as well, also suggested me to watch but I had an excuse of being "just too busy for the daily soaps"; although we all know we eventually find time to do and follow things we want in life....a month later, her (patience was incredible), she asked me again, if I started watching that soap......and my answer was NO again. However this time she almost took a promise from me to watch it and I promised her I'll watch  asap!

So here we go, the name of soap is "Eka Lagnachi Doosri Goshta" didn't take me too long to search on youtube, and I saw the ratings are pretty high, lot of online viewers follow it. Anyways! I started watching it. Its actually pretty good.....The story revolved around two middle class families and both families possess an elite bachelor; a male and a female. Common line one might feel! Whats the big deal? Big deal begins when you can actually relate yourself so well to characters....Radha and Ghanashyam (Ghana) are the main characters and story revolves around their families. Both of them feel marriage is waste of energy, money and time; a common thought younger generation possesses along with idea that marriage is abandoning one's freedom. The families of both are pretty interesting and their up-bringing has obviously highly influenced by their family structures. Still, Ghana wants to go to States to pursue his career in IT field and Radha wants to stay with her dad forever through her life time. Since both of them are under peer pressure and have their focused and  well defined goals in lives, they decide to have a contract marriage. The way it has been shown is fun and entertainment. The story is running usual, they got married, avoiding sex as par their contract, trying to pretend to be a good couple and interacting normally with each others family members. The contract marriage concept is relatively newer and different for Marathi families but the family depicted here is an ideal one and a very next door kind-a family. We all viewers know that one day they're going to fall in love, and would stay happily ever after. What makes this story different then? Its the family members; Starting from Mauli (the worker at home who takes care of households), Kuhu (amateur poetess), Gyana (The serious and intelligent one), Ganga, Yami, Supriya Kaku,  Mayee Aaji, andUlka atya are highlights to mention a few, other than Ghanashyam and Radha! I like the serial because it has connected to many people together. While having a conversation with friends, it comes out comfortably ohh congratulations! Kuhu is getting married and etc. The Phrases and styles are incredible. The actors deserve best of everything. 
I do not have an appropriate conclusion about this post yet but I am sure my friends and family who watch this serial would suggest me something.
Peace~

memories in July

Back in 2003, I was half way through my MSc Biochem program and I joined National Institute of Virology, Pune as a summer trainee. My training lasted from May 15- June 30th and as it was approaching finish line, I started feeling very homesick. Although I was enjoying my super comfortable life at my uncle's place in Pune, there was something making me withdraw my attention and I felt home is calling me!! After June 30th, I stayed in Pune for another day and got back to Indore, my hometown. 
For a long period of time, I recognized July as the beginning of academic year, smells of crisp paper of new notebooks and text books, new school uniforms and extended assembly instructions in school times. Shilpi who's my almost best friend from school times would have us over for her birthday celebrations every July 4th.   
Year of 2003 was little different though. In June last week when I was still in Pune, I knew my aunt is sick and suffering with hepatitis and it was misdiagnosed. My uncle from Pune also visited her for a day and assured me that she's fine. I learned within 30 mins of homecoming that she has been suffering with breast cancer and it was in its last stages. The incorrect diagnosis part of disease, I am not talking about since its not too rare of a thing to happen. 
I visited hospital and burst out into tears...my aunt who was probably first one to love me most after my parents, was dying, not slowly though. She never had a daughter and she considered me her daughter, she cared for me just like my mother sometimes more than her. Still remember when I had menses for first time she was so concerned and kept instructing my mom over phone, she would call me after my final exams for each subject and make sure that I wrote it well, I am not watching too much of TV, eating well and etc. Little wonder, her only son made it to IIM and now works for a reputable company as (youngest) consulting member on board of directors of company.
So, I was not too enthusiastic to celebrate Shilpi's birthday this year, so she invited me over for a simple lunch and I agreed to that. We had lunch and we chatted for a long time which is usual part of hang outs with her. The worst part of such hang outs was we would spend more time on gate-meetings than inside (only people who know what gate meetings are would know how it works, please excuse me for this one!)
While I was still engrossed into gate-meeting with Shilpi, I got a phone call from hospital and learned that aunt is serious and I rushed to hospital. She died on same night and thereafter July is just Shilpi's Birthday and aunt's death; associated with each other in a sad way. 
Why do I need to write this and share it with all of you? Because they say sharing sorrows divides them......May her soul rest in peace!