Last Friday I saw an interesting status posted by my youngest male cousin, it said "EX means:- thanks for the EXperience….our time has EXpired…..now EXit my life" there were some 5 likes on it; to everybody's knowledge and concern he wasn't really dating anybody so no one was really bothered to ask him anything....but it really agitated my thoughts......wow!! What a thought.....partly true.....except the last part which would have been really difficult for people in love.....so this post of mine is about relationships!! Since, I have a vast circle of friends and family which is spread worldwide now, I can be little pompous to discuss their EXperiences of EXpired relationships.
So, when and why two people become Ex for each other in a relationship could be a matter of dispute and there can be several beginnings and reasons behind it which is not focus of this blog. I would rather concentrate on life stories of respective Exs here in terms of how they handled it and if they were over or not!! Very few cases I saw were nervous break down ones.
I remember one of my cousin's friends, who was academically bright and an all rounder, attempted to commit suicide bunch of times after his break up, who had to be sent to asylum because of neuronal imbalance (huh! thats what they did in India 20 years ago at least!) and from my high school days I knew a person in neighborhood who committed suicide because of break up and her Ex trashed her....but thats it. Other than these few those can be counted on finger tips of one hand, I have not come across break downs/deaths because of Ex's....but wait!! I have just mentioned one kind of extent yet....and this takes me to "look upto" figures who were trashed by their Ex's and are now living successful lives. We all do realize at one point of time that nobody's life doesn't stop because a person is out of our respective lives. The how does one gets so much importance in life? It comes through feelings of love, trust, affection, sex and blahblahblah.........when one or more things are missing, love vaporizes and people become Ex for each other. Many years ago, I watched a Hindi movie "Taal" which ended up with a punchline from Grand ma of main lead who said "Don't fall, rise in love" and I absolutely loved it. I have known at least fifty people in my life who had their career path well defined, with clearer goals in life after they became "Ex" for someone. Many of them were in the intense relationships, some of them had live-in relationships as well. And, they did undergo a nervous breakdown after break ups but only to re-connect with life, they did have suicidal thoughts but they realized and learned to live with broken heart!! How they did it and became almost over-achievers in life, is unrealistic and non-important to me as a person. But, how did they lived through being Exs was pretty intriguing. "On Sundays when I have nothing to do I do think about him, how different life would have been if he was with me, and at this moment what he might be doing? His wife might be serving him lunch on Sunday afternoon since that's the only time I had decided with him to eat lunch together" says my 27 year old friend, (an HR manager at MNC with all possible awards she could get for her work from company, definitely overachiever for her age!!) after being in a relationship for 4 and a half years with her Ex. "I do think about evening coffees with him we used to have together after coming back from work, followed by a TV show, dinner and a walk together. Now it feels weird to sit around same coffee table and love seat sometimes, when I know he might be doing same thing with his wife, because this was the way he loved to spend evenings" says my 34 years old friend, a "to be" member of board of directors at MNC who had a live-in with her boy friend for 3 good years. The apartment belongs to her and she doesn't want to sale it. "You can think how much work it took me to reach this professional position in fraction of time", she said and smiles to the idea of getting married to someone else. "If it had to work, it would have worked then and this way, I am too busy to think about someone else now!" and here comes the problem, Ex gave EXperience, EXpired relationship and took a physical EXit as well, but didn't make an emotional EXit and left other person with sleepless nights and sobs!!!
I won't talk about rules of relationships since they make relationships mechanical, and less emotional, but there has to be some set norms to prevent EXs undergo emotional trauma at times. There are no rules in relationships, but there have to be some for break ups to have a healthy emotional EXit from both sides....
I know just like my previous other blogs, there is an open ending to this one too, and I could really not think anything else after venting my thoughts on this issue out on everyone like this. I request everybody to suggest something for EXs to get a better personal life which is equivalent to professional one in order to have a good and healthy social structure!
Amen~
So, when and why two people become Ex for each other in a relationship could be a matter of dispute and there can be several beginnings and reasons behind it which is not focus of this blog. I would rather concentrate on life stories of respective Exs here in terms of how they handled it and if they were over or not!! Very few cases I saw were nervous break down ones.
I remember one of my cousin's friends, who was academically bright and an all rounder, attempted to commit suicide bunch of times after his break up, who had to be sent to asylum because of neuronal imbalance (huh! thats what they did in India 20 years ago at least!) and from my high school days I knew a person in neighborhood who committed suicide because of break up and her Ex trashed her....but thats it. Other than these few those can be counted on finger tips of one hand, I have not come across break downs/deaths because of Ex's....but wait!! I have just mentioned one kind of extent yet....and this takes me to "look upto" figures who were trashed by their Ex's and are now living successful lives. We all do realize at one point of time that nobody's life doesn't stop because a person is out of our respective lives. The how does one gets so much importance in life? It comes through feelings of love, trust, affection, sex and blahblahblah.........when one or more things are missing, love vaporizes and people become Ex for each other. Many years ago, I watched a Hindi movie "Taal" which ended up with a punchline from Grand ma of main lead who said "Don't fall, rise in love" and I absolutely loved it. I have known at least fifty people in my life who had their career path well defined, with clearer goals in life after they became "Ex" for someone. Many of them were in the intense relationships, some of them had live-in relationships as well. And, they did undergo a nervous breakdown after break ups but only to re-connect with life, they did have suicidal thoughts but they realized and learned to live with broken heart!! How they did it and became almost over-achievers in life, is unrealistic and non-important to me as a person. But, how did they lived through being Exs was pretty intriguing. "On Sundays when I have nothing to do I do think about him, how different life would have been if he was with me, and at this moment what he might be doing? His wife might be serving him lunch on Sunday afternoon since that's the only time I had decided with him to eat lunch together" says my 27 year old friend, (an HR manager at MNC with all possible awards she could get for her work from company, definitely overachiever for her age!!) after being in a relationship for 4 and a half years with her Ex. "I do think about evening coffees with him we used to have together after coming back from work, followed by a TV show, dinner and a walk together. Now it feels weird to sit around same coffee table and love seat sometimes, when I know he might be doing same thing with his wife, because this was the way he loved to spend evenings" says my 34 years old friend, a "to be" member of board of directors at MNC who had a live-in with her boy friend for 3 good years. The apartment belongs to her and she doesn't want to sale it. "You can think how much work it took me to reach this professional position in fraction of time", she said and smiles to the idea of getting married to someone else. "If it had to work, it would have worked then and this way, I am too busy to think about someone else now!" and here comes the problem, Ex gave EXperience, EXpired relationship and took a physical EXit as well, but didn't make an emotional EXit and left other person with sleepless nights and sobs!!!
I won't talk about rules of relationships since they make relationships mechanical, and less emotional, but there has to be some set norms to prevent EXs undergo emotional trauma at times. There are no rules in relationships, but there have to be some for break ups to have a healthy emotional EXit from both sides....
I know just like my previous other blogs, there is an open ending to this one too, and I could really not think anything else after venting my thoughts on this issue out on everyone like this. I request everybody to suggest something for EXs to get a better personal life which is equivalent to professional one in order to have a good and healthy social structure!
Amen~
Pain makes you stronger,
ReplyDeleteFear makes you braver,
Heartbreaks make you wiser.
Yes Aarti!! But Wise people are not always happy...right?
DeleteIf you get apart it's not true love. If it's not true love then why to bother?
ReplyDelete